What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Was Michael Jackson really an innocent person?

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Is the 4B movement's aggressiveness against men for seeing women as mantelpieces valid?

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Do older men realize that younger women usually do not prefer them?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Did you ever receive genuine remarks from a medium regarding your deceased relative with information that the medium could never normally know?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

What can I do when I'm ugly on both outside and inside? What do I do? Cut myself off from the world to make everyones lives better? I'm a monster. I hurt feelings, and I say what was said to me. I feel like I'm nothing but a burden. What do I do?

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

What was your best sex experience that still makes you horny?

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Make Nazis afraid again!

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Do very hot men ever feel attracted to an ugly woman? Why?

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

What happens when your partner doesn't see the value in you and continuously hurts you by searching for something in others knowing it hurts you?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Why is it after eating almonds when I’m occupied, I don’t feel mild itch, but as soon as I have nothing to do, I feel mildly itchy?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Who believes that Speaker Mike Johnson will certify ‘a free and fair and legal election'? Who believes that Speaker Mike Johnson will NOT certify ‘a free and fair and legal election'? Why?

TEXT:

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

According to the Gita, how do I abandon fruits of my karma? Should I donate my whole salary and stay hungry?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”